Let’s confer here in this space of sarcasm, comedy and honesty that some people just don’t get “it” when it comes to social media connections and general online etiquette. Am I right or am I right? For some reason, some people just can’t seem to figure out how to use social media to come across online in a way that is socially acceptable and honestly it’s as if they’re stumbling blind in the dark.
Here is a list of the most obnoxious online personalities I encounter on a daily basis that just drive me insane.
The Whiner-everything sucks to these people. They never seem to get a break and everything they write ends with a FML.
The self soother-they create status updates meant to cheer themselves and lift themselves up. Reading them is like reading their self-help diary.
The quoter-I like quotes. You like quotes. So do these people, obviously. Because ““Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making quotes.” – Desiree Eaglin
The confused emphasis YELLER-The person who can’t figure out how TO capitalize the right WORDS.
The YELLER-the person that YELLS about EVERYTHING. Even if it’s just to say that THEY WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE AND RAN INTO SAMMY.
The diarrhea-Every thought that enters these people’s heads end up on social media.
The comedian-They only think they’re funny.
The bragger-their husband is the best, their kids are the smartest, their vacations are lavish, their lives are fantastic. (I think they’re just lying)
The mobile paparazzi-they take blurry mobile pictures of any and everything throughout their day and post them. It’s instagram hell.
The party girl/boy-they’re constantly talking about “partying” and how “wasted” they got. I hate them…but only because I’m jealous.
Polly Pocket of Sunshine-they! are! happy!…and! they’re! not! afraid! of! letting! everyone! know! it!!!!
The Linker-they link everything, stuff they read, stuff their sister read, stuff their dog read, stuff their neighbors sisters cousin read.
The friend collector-they have 1,500 friends on facebook and they’ve friend requested you but only because you sat next to each other in the cafeteria once in middle school, so you must be connected right?
The blessed-they’re blessed for their lives, they’re blessed for their friends, they’re blessed for their husbands/wives, they’re blessed for their breakfast. In case you missed it, these people are blessed.
The vain-they post 5,000 self pictures of themselves. They have an album titled “me” and it’s just that: them…and that’s it, no friends, no kids, no pets-just pictures of them.
The shy-they don’t have any pictures of themselves found anywhere online. It’s like they’re a ghost and you wonder if it’s really Jenny you’re talking to and not Fred the 50 year old hairy pervert.
The lame commentor-you’re happy and you’re not afraid of saying it, but then some person swoops in and craps all over it.
The Emo-the obvious cry for help that makes you wonder if you should call the authorities.
The cliff hanger-they start to imply something but then…stop. They want to lead you on and make you ask what’s up.
The passive aggressive-they don’t have the balls to say it to your face, so they say it through their status update.
The question asker-they ask questions about how ‘everyone’s’ weekend was, what ‘everyone’ had for dinner, what ‘everyone’ is doing for new years…
The ignorer-they ask a question or make a statement that seems to need an answer, so gullible people answer but then the ignorer doesn’t acknowledge that person even exists.
The MOM-they are a mom and they want you to know it. It’s all about their kids. Pictures of their kids, status updates about their kids, quotes from their kids, videos…of their kids.
I know these made you laugh, because you know, you know some of them…or better yet you are some of them. Do you have any more obnoxious online personalities to add?