“You don’t like my opinions mommy” She said as she was in the bath last night. I stopped in my tracks, naturally. The word “opinions” caught my attention, her being 3 years old and all. I turned towards her and I asked her for clarification. Knowing she probably didn’t understand what an “opinion” was, I still wanted to know what she was referring to.
Just moments before bath time our house was in an uproar. My oldest was in trouble for hitting his sister, the baby was crying and my daughter tried handing me a pair of ladybug shoes right in the middle of the whirl. In a frustrated haste I told her to “JUST GO PUT THOSE SHOES BACK!” She did put the shoes back in her closet of course and she hopped into the warm bath.
“You don’t like my opinions anymore mommy” She said again.
“I gave you my caterpillar shoes for my baby sister and you didn’t like them” She clarified.
I looked into her big, unblinking eyes and I died.
Turns out she was trying to give me her ladybug shoes to give to her baby sister who we are activily preparing for because the shoes hurt her feet and when I told her to “JUST GO PUT THOSE SHOES BACK” she was hurt.
She ended her 5 minute lecture with “You hurt my feelings mommy”
I had to hold back my tears.
I’ve never, not even once, had a conversation like this with my oldest son. He is 7, going on 17 and he is hardly able to express himself in any coherent way. Dealing with his feelings is a game of chess that is chock full of guesswork. But this conversation was different. This conversation with my 3 year old daughter was sunshine after a rainy day, clarity after a bad head cold, sleep after sleep deprivation – I was both surprised and sad at the same time.
I look forward to having meaningful conversations with her, I look forward to the clarity in kids feelings and I look forward to not having to do the feeling guessing game. But I don’t look forward to hearing that I have so carelessly hurt her feelings.
That is going to break my heart.
Wowzers <3
Boys are like turtles and girls are like whirling dervishes! LOL hang on for a crazy ride!