Jesus and Santa Clause are stealing my thunder.
Every Christmas, good ol’ Saint Nickolas is the hero. The excitement of Christmas Eve is palatable as my children eagerly await to see what the jolly good man may have brought them. He knows just what my kids want and he grants their wishes. Their eyes light up as they see what Father Christmas has lovingly bestowed upon them in toy generosity.
Chris Cringle had been watching my kids throughout the year, making his creepy good boy and good girl lists and checking them twice. He huffed and puffed and squeezed his jolly self down the chimney to lavish my children with gifts they’ve wanted all year. He’s a freakin’ hero to these kids and he only has to work hard one night a year. Even after all this time, my son still talks adoringly about what Santa brought him this year.
Well, what the f*ck about me? Shouldn’t I get some credit? It’s me that slaves over breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. It’s me that washes clothes, bottles and dishes every day. I’m the a-hole scrubbing toilets and bottoms and nose crust every day. I’m the sap who cries when their feelings get hurt, when they are sick or unhappy. I’m the one that has sacrificed my body, my hair…my good shoes.
But Santa get the credit and the recognition. And he isn’t even real!
Today, my son brought this craft home from preschool:
And now I have to compete with Jesus? Of course of all people, there’s just no competition with Jesus. Hands down Jesus loves you more than me son. He’s just absent in the toilet scrubbing, breakfast making, grocery shopping department. Cause for his own names sake HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOU.
However, I’ve decided that Santa is no longer going to give awesome presents to the Eaglin children. From now on, he’ll be giving socks and underwear. Mommy (and mommy alone!) will be giving the good sh*t that is worthy of appreciation and love. Not Santa.
Santa is done stealing my thunder in this house.
LOL we don’t do Santa in our house. Underwear is a good compromise!
As always my friend, you have a way of getting me to literally LOL and think “yeah, why am I not doing that too??” nicely done!
I’m just so sick of that jolly fat man getting all the attention! lol
Mommy will be giving the “good” presents! Hilarious! See how well that goes:)
I just LOVE reading your articles! This is so true!
Yeah…mom gets credit last (but longest…).
we don’t celebrate christmas but I can understand your feelings..I would not be happy if my kids came home after passover and said they loved Moses!
Just keep in mind Desiree that as of right now Jolly St. Nick is getting all the creds, but when they’re older and realize it’s really mommy behind the whole facade, it’ll come back to you 😉
They grow out of it… but this made me chuckle anyway. Gosh darnit, Just so you know, I’m too damn literal 😉
lol-yeah, this is just satire
I love this post so much!!
You are so funny but your post made me think about something….I have a friend who’s children don’t believe in Santa…because she feels like she would be lying to him to tell him he’s real….it made me really think about that….my children (at present) do believe in Santa but that might change this year….esp. if he’s going to be getting all the thank yous and recognition! LOL!
Strange isn’t it? As parents, we have our own set of ideals for our children, but in reality we’re really prisoners of the society we live in when it comes to how to *actually* raise them. We want our children to be special, yet fit in with their peers. Maybe we want to harbor a love of chess, but if you live in a society that is strongly sports related, it’s a good idea to instill an appreciation of football as well (this is just an example) so they can blend with their peers.
We want our children to have the same kind of experiences (and better ones) as we did as children even if some of the traditions we love are weird. Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy are all creepy traditions with intent of basically, lying to our children in the name of “childhood”.