There are a few occasions in life when you have to become a mock representation of the best of who you are, what you’re about, where you’re from and whom your family is. These occasions are usually ritual based, stuffy, require uncomfortable clothing and take lots of preparation. These special occasions I’m talking about are life stage transformations like:
Graduations
Weddings
Funerals
Family, friends and even worse-friends of family travel from all around to join in the ritual. These people are usually cheek pinchers, ass grabbers and heavy drinkers. Well, in my experience anyway.
There is nothing worse on this planet to me rather than having to attend one of these ritualistic functions (ok, well almost nothing worse). I hate having to dress up and act nicey nice and happiddy happy. I hate being in situations in where people you see regularly act a fool are suddenly transformed into the best versions of themselves with combed hair and clean clothes. Isn’t it all so silly? We’re all standing there staring at each other, wearing uncomfortable shoes that pinch our toes, too much makeup and smiling at each other while making small talk and attempted to mask the fact that we have to fart?
Don’t get me wrong, these are special, eventful, meaningful times for the people in the ceremonies. Just not for the rest of us, you know…the people forced to attend.
All of a sudden I’m no longer just Desiree at these kinds of things, you know the sometimes forgetful, sloppy, sarcastic, bitchy girl that likes to walk around the house naked-I’m Desiree Eaglin, Mr. Eaglin’s wife, my son and daughters mother, my brother sister, my mothers daughter, the Eaglin Family daughter/niece/cousin/some family member in law in whereby I’m expected to represent the entire Eaglin family in general, Freelance writer representative, Photographer representative, city of Corona representative, Inland Empire representative, Southern California representative and on and on and on.
I find it stressful. Obviously.
Sometimes, we’re required to represent ourselves in situations that are less ritualistic but still highly regarded as “being important” because they involve our kids such as:
Back to School and Teacher Conference nights
Doctors visits
School plays and performances
Come on moms, you know you can relate to this one. You would never be caught dead with your kids looking like rag a muffins at the doctors office right? Where you secretly think you’re being judged as a mom by the professional that sees kids all day long?
I pick out the cleanest, best clothes I can find in my kids closets, brush their teeth 5,000 times and plaster their hair to their heads just so it will appear to the doctor that my kids are well taken care of. Sheesh, if they only really knew…
That is the irony of it all.
All of a sudden, our kids are representing us as parents and we’re shoving them in uncomfortable clothes and combing their hair to force them into becoming a mock representation of themselves.
I know exactly what you mean, and I don’t like playing the game either. I’d much rather watch tv while picking belly button lint than play nice with practically strangers in the guise of family.